Vegan Five Bean Chili

I know.... I said the "V-Word..."

When I first stopped eating meat, 6 whole months ago, I had this idea that I would just continue cooking all of my favorite meals and just leave out the meat. Super simple. Except for that Beef commercial I booked one month later (hey, I'm a capitalist first) things were pretty simple. Chicken stir fry became veggie stir fry. Chicken soup became veggie soup (not for Rich, he's "not a quitter"). But then my little trick became, well, trickier. You see I'm not a fan of fake meats. If you give up meat, why are you in such a hurry to eat a "burger." Maybe try eating more vegetables? So without fake meat at my disposal, some of my favorite dishes became hard to adapt to my new diet. For example chicken paprikash did not become veggie paprikash... it became disgusting red vegetable gloup. Braised beef short ribs? Let's not even go there...

Don't get me wrong, I love my veggies and there are endless amazing vegetarian dishes that I have seriously started mastering, but steak.... is still steak. And while cauliflower steaks with smoked cauliflower puree (recipe coming soon) are delicious, you can only eat so many grilled vegetables before considering suicide.

Enter chili.

I have tried a lot of vegetarian chili recipes and to be honest, none of them are bad.... they just aren't chili. At least not by the standard definition of flavor profile. Sure, chili pretty much tastes like chili. It's beans and spices, but when you leave out the meat, you lose that comforting, warm THING that feels good in your mouth. You know, that thing chili is all about. What is that thing, you ask? That thing is lentils.

Yup. LENTILS! Bet you didn't see that coming, carnivores.

This recipe is actually VEGAN. It's crazy, I know. I made a dish Fiona Apple would eat. But don't stop reading yet. I fed it to our uber-carnivorous roommate Michael (yup, we're married with roommates) and he didn't even realize it was missing meat... it's that tasty.

five bean chili.

Ingredients:

1 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, chopped

1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped

1/2 green bell pepper, chopped..... use one whole RED bell pepper. It doesn't matter- go crazy!!

4 cloves of garlic, minced

2 cups lentils, cooked

1 can black beans, drained

1 can great northern beans, drained

1 can kidney beans, drained

1 can pinto beans, drained

1 28oz can chopped tomatoes

1 tbsp cumin

3 tbsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp dried oregano

Salt and pepper to taste

Method:

In a large pot (I use a Le Creuset dutch oven because my husband loves me and bought me one) heat olive oil and sauté onions and bell pepper over medium heat until golden. Add the garlic and sauté 1 minute until fragrant. Add the rest of the ingredients.... the beans, the lentils, the spices.... you name it and mix them all together. Bring to a simmer and then turn the heat to low and let cook for 30 minutes or so until all of the flavors are combined.

this is how I roll.

And, if you're like me and you're ok with making your vegan friends happy and jealous all in one bowl- pile on the cheddar cheese, greek yogurt (extra protein!) and avocado on your own bowl and I dare you to miss the meat!

If you're vegan? Add some sliced green onions and avocado and try not to cry at how much better my bowl looks with ten tons of cheddar on it.

The BEST Vegetarian Meatballs

I am serious. THE BEST. These are freaking delicious.

I am a little nervous when I cook vegetarian versions of things that should not be vegetarian.... most are not good. At. All. And I am still learning. But, as someone who refuses to substitute with soy (I don't want to grow 4 extra boobs) I can't have any of the over produced vegetarian versions that can be found at the market.... so I have to get in the kitchen and figure it out on my own.

When I first stopped eating meat I tried to make vegetarian paprikash. We ended up ordering dinner that night around 10pm. It was bad... like really, REALLY bad. So, with good reason, Rich is a little bit skeptical when I skip out of the kitchen announcing that "this really wonderful vegetarian dinner is in the oven!" He pretty much has the phone in his hand, ready to order Chinese. Not tonight.

Now, these are just as much work as regular meatballs. Your hands get just as messy, you have to chop a lot of ingredients and you need to prepare to spend an hour or two in the kitchen. But Rome was not built over night and meatballs are Italain... so that all kind of makes sense. Right? Right?.......

This recipe makes about 2 dozen meatballs and they make great leftovers. I served them with walnut pesto capellini which is what babies are probably made to. Good lord, why is pesto not served on EVERYTHING?!

Speaking of making babies- if you have them.... these are a great way to hide some lentils and extra veggies into their food (or your husband's.) Also speaking of babies.... you heard it hear first.... man, do I want one of those! Who wants to start helping me convince my husband? We may have to convince him to stay with me first after he reads this....

veggie balls.

Ingredients:

2 cups lentils (I always use black lentils)

1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
2 teaspoons salt
3 tablespoons tomato paste
8 ounces button mushrooms, wiped clean and sliced
3 large eggs
1/2 cup grated rennet-free Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup bread crumbs
1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/4 cup chopped fresh basil

1/4 cup finely chopped walnuts

Method:

Combine the lentils and 2 quarts water in a medium stockpot and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to low and simmer until the lentils are soft but not falling apart, about 25 minutes. Drain the lentils and allow to cool.
Add 1/4 cup of the olive oil to a large frying pan and sauté the onions, carrots, celery, garlic, thyme and salt over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, for about 10 minutes, until the vegetables are tender and just beginning to brown. Add the tomato paste and continue to cook, stirring constantly, for 3 minutes. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring frequently, for 15 more minutes, or until all the liquid is absorbed. Transfer the mixture to a large bowl and allow to cool to room temperature. When cool, add the lentils to the vegetable mixture.
Add the eggs, Parmesan, bread crumbs, parsley and walnuts to the cooled vegetables and lentils and mix by hand until thoroughly incorporated. Place in the refrigerator for 25 minutes.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Drizzle the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil into a 9-by-13-inch baking dish and use your hand to evenly coat the entire surface. Set aside.
Roll the mixture into round golf ball-size meatballs (about 1 1/2 inches), making sure to pack the vegetable mixture firmly. Place the balls in the prepared baking dish, allowing 1/4 inch of space between the balls and in even rows vertically and horizontally to form a grid.
Roast for 30 minutes, or until the meatballs are firm and cooked through. Allow the meatballs to cool for 5 minutes in the baking dish before serving.

I've been doing some recipe reading lately. A lot of it. I found this recipe in the NY times from The Meatball Shop in Manhattan.